Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tall Tales: ZXIOXZ Conquers Earth

In a time when aliens of the nth galaxy were interested in expanding their domain, ZXIOXZ, their leader, had set his (its) sights our galaxy, the Milky Way. Earth, being the most energy-infested planet of our galaxy, was first on their territories to conquer.

These extra-terrestrial beings were gifted with the power to alter their size and shape. These green aliens about five inches tall have three big eyes connected to its head by antennae like structures. Having four hands and six legs, these beings are rather odd-looking.

ZXIOXZ designated QIX and ZIQ to lead the attack on Earth QIX and ZIQ carried with them about a million warrior aliens from the nth galaxy. When they reached Earth, they were not noticed. As a result, they deduced that they would not fight a battle. They returned all their weapons and came back with their leader, ZXIOXZ. They would see the people and see the planet as a whole.

After their long search, they found an earth being.

“Look at that strange looking being of this planet. I’m not really sure if it’s a male or female. This planet’s people have rectangular solid shape and having a shiny skin and a tail. It seems that it’s connected to the wall. Maybe it’s how they share energy in this planet. They have two hollow and elongated eyes on top of his rectangular body. It’s rather odd that it has a movable nose on one of its sides.” QIX said.

Then ZIQ asked: “What kind of people are this? Will they allow us to conquer their planet?’

“Hopefully, these are friendly people, they seem to be silent. Since we came, it only made a soft buzzing sound. Maybe it’s how they communicate. These creatures are somewhat weird. When their nose goes down. Their eyes slowly turn orange and the white in the middle of their eyes appear to be brownish. Don’t you worry my people; we will conquer this planet no matter what happens (!),” answered ZXIOXZ.

The other aliens cheered; “This planet will be ours!”

What happened next terrified the creatures of the nth galaxy. They panicked. ZXIOXZ, being the leader that he is, told his people to remain calm.

QIX said in a nervous tone: “Let us retreat! The white in its eyes is going to gobble us up! Let us retreat to our galaxy!’

ZIQ countered: “What will we do? We are under attack! The white thing coming from his eyes just popped out. The hideous creature is attacking us. We have no weapons.”

ZXIOXZ saying in a frightened tone: “Let us not panic. We have it outnumbered.”

Out of fear, chaos and panic, many of these aliens changed their shapes. Some of them copied the shape of boxes, stars, circles and others but the white thing coming from the creatures was still going towards them. Forced to retreat ZXIOXZ told his warriors to go back to the nth galaxy. Being really scared, the troops had to fight for their survival even if it would mean the death of some of them.

ZXIOXZ, in an alarmed manner told his men: “Let us forget our ambition to conquer this planet. There are still a lot of planets, which we can conquer rather than this one. A planet of hostile and rude people… Let us leave this planet in peace.”

These extra-terrestrial beings were able to return to their galaxy but they were in a state of shock. More than one-fourth of their total population died on their way back to the nth galaxy. These creatures will have to face the stigma of failure and maybe… just maybe… They will forget their ambition to expand their domain.

For now, Earth is once again safe from alien invaders. The plan of ZXIOXZ to conquer our planet was foiled… by would you believe… A BREAD TOASTER.

No comments: